As I drew my head and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes we all covered in ashes and soot.
A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled the LBJ’s then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his K900, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
‘Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!’
I awoke the next morning, none to my surprise,
A room full of a presents of each and every size.
The joy in my face, as I ran down the stairs,
Much like Rick Ross and his love affair with pears.
I reached for the box with my name on the top,
“A ‘Brohio’ shirt? Floor seats for the Cavs?” I excitedly thought,
But when I opened it up, I was very shocked to find,
A Connor Shaw jersey, I about lost my mind.
The package came with tissues to dry my dreadful tears,
And a note signed from Santa saying, “Maybe next year!”
Have a Merry Christmas, you savages. Pumped to get away from work for a few days, spend some time with family and drink until the pain of debt and holiday gifts goes away. It’s the mooooost wonderful tiiiiiiime of the yeeeeeear!